Terry Johnson July 21, 2025
Let’s be honest: secret societies are weird.
Weird and wildly influential.
Bohemian Grove has long been whispered about—a private, two-week men-only forest retreat where the rich and powerful gather under towering redwoods for esoteric rituals. They toast to a 40-foot flaming owl, named “Moloch,” during the annual Cremation of Care, as if burning off compassion is the latest trend. Presidents show up. Billionaires toast. Care gets cremated. And global power dynamics quietly shift.
Sacred Satire, Woven in Jersey
These aren’t merely underwear. They’re wearable subversion. They’re comfort and commentary—your secret handshake with satire.
Each pair is printed with symbols ripped from the Grove’s cryptic lore:
- 🔥 A flaming owl — the icon of Moloch’s midnight show
- ⚰️ A nod to that theatrical Cremation of Care ritual
- 🧵 Enough edgy, stretchy cotton to last a three-week encampment
- 🪩 Campfire conspiracy vibes, with a splash of retro ceremonial camp
If they can play-cult in the redwoods once a year, we can certainly wear stories that say: “Nice cult—now pay your damn taxes.”
From Myth to Misery: The Koch Underwear Scandal
Here’s where satire meets fury:
A recent lawsuit involving Bohemian Grove staff alleged that billionaire William Koch—yes, one of the Koch brothers—commanded an employee to hand-wash his underwear… after forcing staff to toil nearly 100-hour weeks, while only being allowed to clock in 40 hours.
That’s right: scrub my undies, ignore your own labor rights, and laugh while you do it. Because washing billionaires’ briefs apparently is part of the fun of servitude.
The Grove quietly settled the case on July 10, 2025, but let’s call this what it is: labor exploitation wrapped in forest mystique—and topped off with hand-washed hubris.
Our Top-Selling Conspiracies
White Briefs – The Burning Owl Edition
Crisp, classic, and just a shade culty. Perfect for airing your existential grievances in breathable cotton.
Gray Briefs – Cremation of Care Edition
Black Briefs – Orange Ouroboros Edition
When capitalism eats itself, let it start from the bottom. This seductive ouroboros isn’t just sexy—it’s a sacred slap in the face to every rigged system that pretends to serve you.
Don’t Just Question Authority—Sit On It.
This men’s underwear line is for the ticked-off, the cheeky, and the fully informed.
Slip into satire.
Wrap your rebellion in cotton.
They’ve got their cloaks and cults. We have jersey and clarity!
Let them have their mysterious owl-worship and culty ceremonies.
We’ll take breathable cotton, biting humor, and briefs that finally expose power for what it is—stretched thin, overpaid, and overdue for laundering by lackeys.